The 5 stages of grief

Whether expected or unexpected

It can be very difficult to feel prepared to lose a loved one. For most it will be the first time experiencing a loss, and so it is helpful to understand the emotions you may be going through.

There is no right way to grieve and there is no particular way you ‘should’ be feeling – everyone’s reaction is natural, and it is important to know that in time you will heal.

For some, you may experience some, all, or none of the below – if you yourself do not go through any of these stages you may see other loved ones do so:

• Denial: “This can’t be happening to me!”
• Anger: “Why is this happening? Who is to blame?”
• Bargaining: “Make this not happen, and in return I will ____.”
• Depression: “I’m too sad to do anything.”
• Acceptance: “I’m at peace with what has happened.”

There is no single or one-sized-fits-all approach to grieving – however there are proven ways to cope with pain, come to terms with loss, and to find acceptance and peace.

1. Acknowledge your pain – ‘being strong’ does not mean ignoring your own feelings. Accept that this is a difficult time for yourself and allow yourself to express your emotions.
2. Accept that grief can trigger many different and unexpected emotions – from shock, anger, disbelief, and guilt. It is normal for the pain of loss to feel overwhelming, but this feeling will subside in time with the right healing.
3. Understand that your grieving process will be unique to you – don’t compare yourself to how others are grieving, we are all different and process our emotions differently too. This is your own grieving journey.
4. Seek out face-to-face support from people who care about you – reach out to friends, family, faith & support groups. Always remember there is professional help in the way of therapists and grief counsellors.
5. Support yourself emotionally by taking care of yourself physically – get out in nature, take walks, and be kind to your body as it allows your mind & heart to heal.
6. Recognise the difference between grief and depression – each is a distinct experience but share similar symptoms. Experiencing grief is a normal healing process, however if you have any concerns relating to depression it is very important to get a diagnosis and seek treatment.